lesbians and the pro-choice movement a thought

I've been wondering about this for awhile and admit my argument could be flawed becuase I'm not currently inolved with pro-choice movement (except with my vote) and know very few women of college age. My theory is lesbian women are no longer as deeply involved in the pro-choice movement as they've moved their energy towards gay rights at an earlier age.

My logic is this, more and more I see young women declaring their sexuality in high school and at younger ages than it seems of lesbians in the past (generalization here not true for all). This stands to reason less and less lesbians live a hetero-experience first, perhaps less aware of the issues that hetero women face. Also more and more lesbian visibility has resulted in feminism and women studies discussing lesbian issues more and not assuming all women have the same issues (with a more global mindset as well). I also know that the history of feminist movements had alienated some lesbians by asking them not to step forward as the face of movements so as not to alienate the general public. This made lesbians move toward their own issues which allowed them to express their full selves.

Now the question is the pro-choice movement hurting from the lack of energy from lesbians who give thier time and money towards gay marriage and family rights? I'm not saying it is the job or that is a problem, just somethign I've wondered about. I'm sure their are a multi-tude of reasons but whatever the reason the pro-choice movement looks to be in trouble. Parental consent for abortion is now the law in more than have of states, there are many states where women must cross one or two state borders to get to a facility that performs abortions. The anti-choice movement seems to continue to be well funded, powerful and the killing of Dr's from their extremist arm continues to take choice rights away from women.

Maybe this is just from afar because at 41 my circle is more concerned with adoption rights, reproductive issues due to being older moms. Of course I do have teenage girls in my life who in california assume that they have abortion rights and will always have them.

stories i'm following - crazy that I am

While everyone else is following the Iran elections which I do hear about it's not what i'm googling and finding a place to make a comment. No I find the weirdest stories and like bees to honey have to get to the details of a crazy story. Currently following....

Anti-Abortion blogger who became the darling of the anti-abortion movement by blogging about her pregnancy with a terminally ill child. It was later uncovered that she had lied and wasn't pregnant and didn't give birth etc. She was caught when she showed pictures of "baby April" and it was one of those 'true to life' baby dolls and one of her followers recognized the doll.

Pictures here... http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=7827909&page=1

She apologized for her deception here http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com/

Sorry I'm not very gracious but while I think she needs help her audience isn't one I have any sympathy for. Especially with the recent killing of Dr Tiller.

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Second story i'm following. Oklahoma Trooper who tried to choke an EMT who was on his way delivering a patient to the hospital. From all videos I've seen this Trooper is full of rage and a racist. The EMT clearly says "Okay follow me to the hospital and arrest me there." This trooper is so full of RAGE and his own self importance. http://jalopnik.com/5291548/oklahoma-trooper-stops-hospital%20bound-ambulance-assaults-emt

I actually have no general dislike for cops, they are the first ones I'm calling in an emergency and I do feel they see the worst of humanity so that must take a toll, but this man appears to have no desire to help only relishes his power. He has been put on "paid leave" and I"m following hoping to see him fired.

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Last story is a bit silly but had to look up and follow after seeing something about it, this girl who says she only asked for 3 star tattoos and woke up with 56 stars. I find this highly unbelievable because usually you agree to a payment ahead of time (big difference in payment for 3 vs 56 stars) and falling asleep while having face tattooed? That seems unlikely as the face would be painful I imagine.

Now I have to admit looking at the tattoo artist gives me no faith that he had any good judgement either.. he's freaking scarey looking which probably doesn't help his case regardless of how innocent.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/06/17/2009-06-17_teen_sues_over_face_tattoos_.html

Yep this is how I spend my valuable time....

The 11 day Detox Diet - ignore if you hate diet talk

I know I actually abhor diet talk, it can be tedious and preachy...so i'll try to be quick and insightful.

I did the Fast Track Detox diet with 5 of my co-workers. It consists of 11 days of no sugar, alcohol, caffeine, wheat, dairy.... basically you eat very lean proteins and loads of cruciferous veggies like cauliflour, celery and some fruits like berries. On day 8 you fast just drinking this watery juice concotion. So while I'd slit my wrist if I had to live like this forever I learned a few really great things.

1. The amazing benefits of flaxseed (oil or milled seeds), cranberries, cinnamen, nutmeg, ginger, garlic and whey. I will continue to use these regurarly in ways new to me or before never tried. I'll try to find a way (adding it to cereal or yogurt or on veggies) to use flaxseed daily. Try putting natural no sugar added cranberry juice in your water too.

2. Hunger passes. Although not the ideal really hunger does goes away. The fast day you'd be really hungry then it would pass and you wouldn't be hungry again for hours.

3. I don't need nearly as much caffeine as I thought. I didn't fall asleep at 2 or 3 from not having my usual diet coke. I've never had so little caffeine in my life and feel fine and awake.

4. Stress does not have to equal bad eating. When I'm really stressed I come home and am like let's order out and I need ice cream. Well the last week was very stressful at work and I didn't give in to bad eating so there are other options. (we walked the dogs and i did a lot of cooking and some yoga -dont tell anyone i don't want them to think i'm falling for their berkeley organic cotton ways).

5. I LOVE BREAD and CHEESE. Take away dessert and bring me a baguette! I'll never eat a fry again just let me have me some sharp cheddar with my apple.

So what happens now? The book actually suggests you stay on this forever with some modification (no freakin' way)! As my friend Braun says "People who don't eat carbs are loose cannons!"

• What I will do is incorporate more good foods to replace bad. More fruit and veggies - less crap.
• Pay attention to portions. Don't deny the craving but make it a taste or small part of a healthy meal.
• Buy more organic produce and the really good organic eggs, she scared the bejesus out of me, organic it is.
• Know that I have a lot of willpower! Not everyone could remain on the diet and I did! Go Deanna!!

For more details ask me and the book is The Fast Track Detox Diet http://tinyurl.com/nf62kq it's $10 at B&N.

BTW - you can lose up to 14 lbs (i didn't weigh myself so don't know) and my skin looks really good.

love advice...don't do what i've done!

Rules for dating and love, I've made all the mistakes so you don't have too!

1. Listen to your family and friends if they give you the veto. Some people are better at telling you how they feel about your partner but if they are asking you if you are happy with concern or indicate they don't want to be around your partner, probably not the best mate for you. They may not know your partner but they know you, they know when you are at your best and when you are not and they can read your happiness. Ahhh if only I'd listened sooner!

2. Sex does not equal love! I know it's the old joke about lesbians moving in on the second date but I can't tell you how often this really happens. Sex is fake intimacy, so it feels like you know someone well or that you are close when you haven't spent the time to really bring about the kind of closeness it takes to make a relationship last.

3. You will remember the beginning forever. For the next 20 years or 20 months you'll be hearing "How did you meet?" make it memorable and drag it out.

4. Your new love's families or attitude towards family matters. My parents used to ask us when we were teenagers about our friends parents. We'd say "why does that matter?" Ah I get it now. In general people generally get more like their parents as they get older (as they do things their parents did like get married and have kids they replicate their parents attitudes in those areas). Now there are examples where someone so hated their childhood they do the exact opposite. So meeting their family or discovering how they feel about their family shows you what they will be like or the opposite of how they will be.

5. Is this somoene you should commit to forever? Ask yourself these questions:

• Imagine you are old and sitting in a rocking chair on a front porch, your new love is next to you, how do you feel?
• Imagine your mother or father, or their mother or father needs to come and live with you for 3 years, how do you both deal with this?
• Imagine you have a child with your partner and the child grow up to be exactly like your partner, are you happy about this?

Now I must admit I got this little test from some women's magazine, but i've read thousands of magazine articles and this is the only test that ever stuck with me, I actually think it's quit good. Negative answers you may want to rethink whether this is a valid long term relationship.

6. Work vs Easy. Recently a love curious teenager recently asked me how hard are relationships? What percentage is hard and what is good. I thought about it and said your relationship is less than 70% good 30% work its not worth it. Reallly it should be closer to 80-90% good and 10% work.

Lastly never say never. Love and lust makes us stupid and break all our rules all the time.

flowers that look like cupcakes, fruit that looks like flowers....

I don't get this trend give flowers that look like a cupcake

or fruit that looks like flowers. If I got flowers that looked like a cupcake I'd just want a real cupcake and I don't like the idea of fruit that someone has touched to make look like a flower. Seems like flowers, fruit and cupcakes are already the good stuff just the way they are. Why don't they make the bad stuff look like flowers and cakes...like parking meters, credit card bills, strip malls. I'll take my cupakes with buttercream frosting and sprinkles!

men behaving stupidly

Recent history has shown you time and time again that you will get caught.
If you are a person that is in the media they will find out. DOH!

Not even the possible loss of career, money and reputation keeps these men in-line.
Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate plus Eight is one of the most famous dad's in America!
His wealth and fame are dependant on his being the best dad in america. But no, he finds time (shockingly) to have an affair with a 26yr old. There are videos of him leaving her house, if you are famous people will tape what you are doing!

Jon getting caught gives me some happiness because they are SUPER religious and belong to the Assemly of God evangelical church. They gave their kids bible action figures http://tiny.cc/JogQy for Christmas. It was so funny and kinda cute to see these little 3 year olds, I'm Moses watch out…


Of course I was sad to watch this happen to John Edwards and really not smart on his part. It's obvious after hearing from about his mistress she was a loose cannon, and when you are running for office they will find your mistress who is living with your ex
staff member. It wasn't too hard to connect those dots. DOH!

New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer paid for sex so there was a money trail, Ted Haggard of church who preached monogamy and gays are sinners, slept with escort Mike Jones who eventually did right by his community beause of the negative preaching by Ted Haggard.
Where are they now? Eliot Spitzer says his days are joyless. http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/09/so_what_does_eliot_spitzer_rea.html John Edwards career is over and his reputation ruined. Ted Haggard reputedly broke but somewhat "cured" by the therapy his fellow evangalists gave him to knock the sinful gay from him.

I will say this is rare for women to lose their jobs, reputation from sexual activities. Recently country sweetheart LeAnn Rimes was unfaithful but it didn't hurt her, the general attitude is "she married young, and he's HOT!" But entertainment industry careers survive cheating all the time. Jude Law, Robin Williams, Hugh Grant, Woody Allen have all admitted affairs without any career repercussions. Hollywood is not using their morality as a badge so when we discover indiscretions it doesn't surprise. Mel Gibson will be interesting as he's been "mr catholic" and I'm pretty sure adultry and divorce aren't part of a good catholic regimen.

Maybe we just don't have enough women in politics and positions of moral authority to make the same mistakes. Although I somehow think women would use more brain, commen sense, restraint when their career and livelihood were on the line.

where have all the chunky girls gone

Yesterday I was flipping through channels and saw an old Janeane Garofalo stand up show. She was looking a bit grungy in t-shirt and cordorys. I was so happy to see her and thought "Good ol' Janeane, she's remained true to herself." As the show went on I realized the jokes were about Mr not Ms Clinton and that the routine may be a bit old. I googled Janeane and low and behold this very thin gaunt looking woman. "NO not Janeane, she was the hold out! She told Hollywood to f themselves, she was brains and wit first, looks second." She now joined the cadre of "chunky" women who look more and more like bobblehead dolls a their heads wobble on their tiny bodies. Margaret Cho, Kate Winslet, Christina Ricci, Ricky Lake.

They weren't even real world chunky, they were hollywood chunky which means they defied the standard size requirements for success in the spotlight. They seemed to be saying they would succeed on their own terms, they knew we liked them the way they were...or maybe they didn't.

I blame the award shows with their red carpet coverage. Now there is a red carpet for every event and actresses drag themselves down the entrance posing for the photographers looking as if they'll need a transfusion at the end to give them the strength to go on.

And now who do we have? Who will defy the never thin enough standards of beauty in Hollywood? America Ferrera seems to be downsizing at a rapid rate. Jessica Simpson, although veering towards chunky at times, is hardly stereo-type defying!

Adele, singer from Britian, it's all on you. Now that she's making appearances in the US I give her six months before I add her to my bobble head collection.